Me and SJ one year later

It was after my vacation last summer that I started my daily commute to Stockholm. That summer I had my vacation in July and when I returned to work in the beginning of August my old happy life ended.

Time flies and now it’s August again! That means me and SJ have spent one year together. I don’t want to know how much time I’ve spent on the train, the 2 x 40 minutes (plus one inevitable 1-2 hour delay per month) does add up in the long run.

SJ

I’ve learned quite a few things during the year. For one, you never know when you will get home. when you least expect it there will be an accident or the engine will break down or something similar will happen. Those times you are lucky if you get home at all.

I have also started to understand more about tiredness. Previously I thought there were two kinds of tiredness, either I felt tired or I felt really tired. Now I know that there are many more levels in between. For example the too-tired-to-be-able-to-speak tiredness, which happens once every week or so. It’s the kind of tiredness where you sit next to someone you know on the train and you try to have a conversation but you are unable to because you can’t form basic sentences. Naturally if you are one of those that always sleep on the train you won’t notice this.

There is also the see-everything-through-fog tiredness, which I also experience like once a week. It’s like you have fog in front of your eyes and everything you look at is a bit blurry. After lunch it usually starts to get a bit better.

I guess my tiredness could be blaimed on lack of sleep, but you have to understand that with this kind of daily commute, it’s hard to fit in anything more than work, eat and sleep. But I want more out of my life so I tend to neglect sleep to make room for more things.

If this is wise or not is hard to say, but if I wouldn’t have time over for other things I surely would get all depressed.

T-40 hours

Now it’s just 40 working hours left until my summer vacation. I can’t wait! I’m so tired and exhausted, I bet I’ll end up sleeping through the first few days.

But I have one last week to go through, five days, that should not be impossible. I can’t remember the last time I felt as tired as I felt last week, but we’ve slept quite much this weekend so hopefully I’ll feel better the coming week. Speaking of which, I have paid the bills so I better hit the sack. The alarm goes off in less than 7 hours!

Tired

This morning I sat down on the train, selected David Gray on the iPod and feel asleep within 10 seconds. Then I woke up 40 minutes later in Stockholm I felt slightly more rested but had a worrying thought that I might have snored. I hope I didn’t!

Disconnected

Late Tuesday afternoon we returned from a week of vacation in Switzerland. It was really nice to get a way for a while and because Camilla’s sister and boyfriend, who we were visiting, did not have internet at home it was a week without a computer and without access to the net.

It was nice to not have to check the email, bloglines and the news sites every day though it left me feeling a bit disconnected. I missed the iPhone launch in the US and the terror scare in London, and who knows what else I missed. Still time off is needed to be able to handle the steadily increasing information flow.

So far the catching up is proceeding slowly, it feels like new items are appearing in bloglines faster than I manage to go through the old ones but I hope that I am at least making some small progress.

A day in my life

06:15

The alarm clock rings.

06:45

I start walking to the train station.

07:10

The train departs.

07:50

Train arrives in Stockholm.

07:55

I arrive at work, eat a quick breakfast and then start working.

16:30

I hurry to the train station.

16:40

The train departs.

17:10

I’m feeling really tired and sleepy so I take a nap the last 10 minutes of the journey.

17:20

Back in Uppsala again. I go shopping groceries needed for dinner and then walk home.

18:10

Finally home again, feeling tired, exhausted, hungry and sleepy but no time for rest! I drink a glas of juice, eat a bit of chocolate, check my email and start the washing machine.

18:40

I begin today’s workout. I’m trying out a new strength excersise program better suited for climbers.

20:00

Done with workout. Stretching and shower.

20:30

Start preparing the dinner.

21:10

Dinner’s ready! I eat dinner in front of the telly watching the end of CSI:NY.

22:00

I hang the laundry, fill the dishwasher and start it, wash the rest of the dishes, clean up the mess I did in the kitchen, prepare what clothes to wear the next day and pack my backpack with training clothes for tomorrow.

23:00

Pay the bills, check email.

23:30

Finally I get to go to bed, feeling all worn out.

06:15

The alarm clock rings again.


Is this what life is supposed to be? The only time in the day I can do whatever I feel like is on the train to and back from Stockholm. The rest of the day is packed! Where’s the climbing lifestyle? Where is the goofing off time? Where is the time to socialize with friends?

Maybe it’s just the beginning of a crisis due to me turning 30 in a few months but I can’t help but think that there should be more to life than lack of sleep, constant tiredness and not enough time to do half of the stuff I want to do.

Morning person

coffee_cup.jpg

I wish I was a morning person

But unfortunately I’m not. This morning was particularly bad because for some reason I couldn’t fall asleep last night. I remember the clock displaying 1am before my eye lids finally closed.

Over the years I’ve tried to change, but it just doesn’t work. I can get up if I have to, that’s no problem, but being physically awake doesn’t mean I’m mentally awake. Far from it. The mornings usually go by in a gray haze with my brain activity resembling the morning porridge. After lunch I finally start to feel sharp again, and easily make up for the morning’s coffee induced resemblance of work. It’s a shame about the mornings though, if I would be able to work evening shifts I would be mad productive!

Back when I was studying I used to feel that I got the most done between 10pm and 2am. I think there is something about the silent tranquility of the night that brings out the best of me. Too bad that doesn’t really go well with the rest of society’s 9-5 mentality.

I think part of the problem for me is getting up then it’s still dark outside. During the study time I did an unscientific experiment. Some days I would sleep from midnight to 7am and other days from 2am to 9am.

Both alternatives give 7 hours of sleep, but I usually felt more rested and less tired with the latter alternative. I think one reason for that was the sun being up at 9am.

One bad thing with living up here in Sweden is the long dark autumns and winters which probably affect me more than I think. Luckily we’re soon off to sunny Spain and hopefully spring will arrive shortly after we return!

(photo by praatafrikaans)

Sun cat

Ismo

While I’m home with the flu the cats seem to enjoy the company, though they do spend most of the time sleeping or enjoying the sun. To the right you can see Ismo working on his tan this afternoon.

Flu-wise I’m better today and I will probably try to go to work on Friday again. Hopefully I can do some light climbing on Sunday.

Sore throat

Then I was young and running lots I developed a sense of my own body, I could feel when something was wrong. I started to get that feeling yesterday afternoon but I tried to ignore it as I don’t really feel like getting sick right now. In the evening I started to feel a slight irritation in the throat and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

So I took a bit of whisky and went early to bed. Unfortunately that wasn’t enough. I knew I should have had more whisky! Then I woke up this morning it felt like I had a golf ball in my throat and a slight fever. Added to that was a feeling of a big looming headache around the corner.

There is no use going to work feeling like that as I know I wouldn’t be able to concentrate for long, if at all. So I’m spending the day in the sofa, with a blanket and the telly. Hopefully by staying home from work for a day or two in this early phase of the flu it won’t get a chance to develop into anything worse and I’ll be back to normal in no time.